The giRl nexT doOr

2005-05-06T00:49:00.000-07:00

probably i was too harshed with my words.
everyone of us just have diff thinking.
and i can't except everyone to have the same thinking as me.
but i just think the motivational workshop had done something great in instilling the tve mindset.
and cvss had proven it right.
i know i may not be able to prove it this mid year, coz i started too late and last years works are giving me headache.
i will and i promise to find my lost soul back.
and my main goal is not just A level cert but my dream.

i am sorry to 2 of ya if i said something wrong,
but i dun mean to hurt or anything,
i just meant well with the tve mindset.
but it hurts me as i nv wanna start an argument,
aching, i dunnoe why. sob.
and yeah i accept the fact that people have diff thinking.

BOOKS!

2005-05-05T21:00:00.000-07:00

just complete reading "a walk to remember" by nicholas sparks.
"hooked" is the word i would use about this book.
not even earthquake can stop me from completing it.
sad though the ending...but its life.
I want MOre! anyway has " the notebook " and "message in the bottle " by nicholas sparks too?
pls pls lend me !
there are so many books i wanna read...like the one by paul coelho "veronika decides to die last night" (hopefully jas would help me borrow from Dr kwan..keke)
heard from rach that jane greens book are marvellous too!
oo~ i dun care i am going down to borders to read all this book on sat! treat as a distress ?

RIGHT NOW : ME = SLACKER! SADDY...DOOMED!

Exams fever

2005-05-05T13:30:00.000-07:00

it had been a while since my last entry.
exams are just a few days away.
decided to come update and its RAYMONd's birthday!

HApPy biRthday ! Congrats you are a big boy now! (more mature??)

many photos have yet to be uploaded.
though exams are far more important,
nevertheless i enjoyed my last weekend of april.

saturday : movie with pz and pwk (infection), and oh not forgetting we took neoprints.
it has been ages since we last did that.
couldn't get jo as she was having retreat.
the show was scary.
wasted money scaring myself.
half the time my eyes were closed.
me and pz was crouching low while pwk trying to act courageous.
anyway it's the fun.
missed the time spending with them and our late nights chat.
conferencing almost every night.
and not forgetting its always me and jo falling asleep first.

Sunday : had bbq with raymond and my uncle's family plus my mum
fun and enjoyable. it was a simple bbq.
it was a early celebration for his birthday since he has to be back in tekong.
just the 5 of us plus 2 of my cousins.
one of which is still on a toddler. so his job was to make us laugh.

Monday : went sun taning with ray.
too bad the sun wasn't really strong.
ended up taking lots of photo by the pool!

-go figure
who would think i am actually having exams ?
with all the fun am having.
but now i am seriously trying to catch up.
stayed home for both tuesday and wednesday.
and yeap its another Home stay on this fine thursday.
am not hoping to complete studying everything,
cause its hell loads.

dun worry, it would be over soon.
i just have to do my best.
counting down.... aimlessly...

oh ya i got a new tank.
brand new tank. (2ft by 2ft by 1ft)
actual price : $20 bucks.
but it was given to me free by collin.
saving up quite a bit.
thanks cOllin!

would update all the photos at one go after my exams!

MONday--PiniC day

2005-04-25T19:30:00.000-07:00

gp lessons are now all replaced with A level subs for this week.
last week to go before over study leave for one week.
it may be hectic.
tiring i must say.
but what could be better then being with the 5 gals,
munching away in btw breaks non-stop?
its hard to find khakis of the same kind.

many don't believe.
but tenny did it.
she called the Macdonald delivery.
so for today's breakfast we had MAc!
cheap though..something wrong with the price.

with the munching of the tibits,

(sharon super big size potato chips and jenny's raisin and famous amos)
(not in picture : marshall's crackers, macdonald feast!, uncountable sweets)
guess we had gained more than we exercise.
its all this syptoms of stressed?

lots of work to do and catch up with before mid year exam.
anyway GOd has been great, he answered my pRayer!
his my saviour.
i was not scolded for not giving MC for my early leave.
GOD ALIMIGHTY! *cheers*

SWIM TEAM PHOTOS

2005-04-25T19:13:00.000-07:00

Should have uploaded this photos quite long ago.
but i drag and drag.
so this people couldn't wait.
now its ready!
thankz to edmund!

MY TOTS

2005-04-24T00:37:00.000-07:00

i had a wonderful and great time with jo and her cell group at church.
worshipping was great.
preaching was enriching.
learnt about faithfulness and loyathly.
it doesn't just appiles to god.
but in life too.

had a long chat with jo.
yeap it had been along time since our last chat.
droplets of tears during the chat about my life and everything.
but i felt great after talking to her.
it has been a long time since i opened it up to someone.
thanks jo!
it really does make a difference.
promise her to make a effort to go church every sat.

decided to open it up to my secondary school click.
yeap and i took a initiative to email them.
as entering a jc had created a big turning point in my life.
i just wanna tell them i love them
and miss them lots.

i believe God would be there for me.
he had planned.
and planned fairly.
this is a test not only towards my determination, but also a test of friendship.
God had planned this 2 years of hardship especially hard for me.
but i am sure as he put me into this challenge,
he is there for me, just right beside me.

i just hope the piles of books will disintegrate.
i dun want to study just because i have to study.
but for a good purpose.

biology pract...

2005-04-23T15:00:00.000-07:00

bio pract...gone case.
enter the pract and the table filled with chemicals and stuffs.
three practs to be done.
the smell of the k3 is so stinky.
woo~
and we are supposed to analyse wat's k3.
i wrote amylase, but its yeast.
so, its really gone case.

but i took rach words seriously.
dun ever think of failing b4 entering.
if not,
half the battle is gone.
its just the starting point.
the core paper had not been done.
so the battle is not over yet.
am still on it..fighting hard.

i will conquer.

Drastic health

2005-04-22T21:50:00.000-07:00

my life now=sleeping
for the past 2 days i guess i had slept more than 10 hours each day.
horrible.
missing out all the fun and gossiping.
luckily jenny update her blog regularly.
get to know all the happenings in school.
not forgetting the "poo face"
jenny definetly has lots of adjectives!

The hEat

2005-04-20T19:11:00.000-07:00

the heat had overcome me.
hug me tight..
2am in the morning,
i was sweating profusely.
took my temp,
not surprising at all, i got a fever.

the run around the gallery,
the shuttle run in the hot blazing sun,
the PT at the pool,
sitting under the hot blazing sun
while Jing Hean trying to push me down into the pool as usual,
had squezzed out all my energy and power.

.sick.

Sperm like creatures.

2005-04-20T01:47:00.000-07:00

few days ago,
toads will spotted.
and when two toads at one corner, one on top of the other,
the guys have loads to say!

while the 6 of us decided to help up.
the pond was seriously overcrowded with the sperm-like creatures.

bear u,
the toads mate like nobody business.
we helped,
and we threw stones into the pond.
some were sandwhich in betweeen the pond, some dead and some managed to escape.
i wonder if we are merely being bored,
or are we under pressure ?
after our lunch at cafe we procceed to the blurish pond.
took the cups and began to catch those tadpoles.

(it just reminded me of the fishes jo yy and me caught,
saddened as only one managed to survive)

like what jenny say : "its okie to go bizarre from time to time".
but the irony is we go bizarre EVERYDAY.

test and exam marathon for thurs fri and sat.
thurs: chem thermochem test.
fri:chem pract.
sat: bio pract mid year exam.

the school needs some organisation.
they are overloading us.
everyone could feel the mountain on top of us.
while keeping our hands up straight, struggling,
we pass each day painfully. its just too much tutorials test

furthermore mid year is just 2 weeks from now.
does the school and teachers really think
that the 1 week study leave will make a difference ?

2005-04-18T07:32:00.000-07:00

decided to upload some "long ago" photos taken on my 18th birthday.

monday blues are finally going to be over.
1 and 1/2 hour more to day 2 of week 5.
where am i counting down ?
it just make me more panicky.
look at the stacks of notes...
look at the stuff i must memorise.
so what i am a bio student?
which mr sala huddin claim all biology students have the right and honour to say :
"we are biologist"
i love biology.
i seriously does.
learning about things that are functioning in our bodies.
how the dialysis actually work just excite me.
but when i don't understand and don't catch the concept,
my brain refused to get stimulated.
my neurons just do not want to get stimultaed no matter how much impulses was sent.
i don't like to be forced.
i just want to complete my A levels PEACEFULLY and pursue my future goals.

2005-04-17T21:20:00.000-07:00

it's my dad's birthday.
50th birthday.
went out with ray simply dressed.
caught "wet dreams".
my first M18 show since my birthday.
as expected, i was asked for my identification.
quite a funny but very real life show.
read subtitles as it was a korean show.
many new shows are coming up.
like jacky's new show, hongkong one...
wonder if i can watched.
if time permits.

reached the restuarant, and saw ALL my relatives there.
got a shocked.
was just wearing slippers, skirt and razor back.
it was then i realised its a important day.
come to think of it, i still had to cheek to ask them "hey u all also come for dinner arhz?"
oh my god, so embrassing,
time really flies,
and my dad is 50.

anyway, happy 50th birthday dad!

2005-04-16T12:00:00.000-07:00

gp paper is finally over.
not really over.
the final one would be in late oct, where i face real pressure.
prepared discrimination.
was all ready to vomit out all the examples and effort i have made.
yet browsing through the paper,
none was discrimination.
what can i say?
speechless.
ending up doing a topic which i totally did not prepare.
i just don't like to write about war, neither do i like terrorism.
it just make me go gar gar.
so much , so broad.
first thing i did was eliminating all those war and terrorism questions.
ending up doing education.
i had learnt from my mistake.
no matter how much i detest war and terrorism, it just play such a big part in essay questions.
so i must forced myself too love topics on wars and terrorism. (against my consicious!)

week 4 has ended and its week 5
just few more days to practical and 3 more weeks to core papers.
i am running against time.
its driving me crazy.
i just wonder how am i going to revise all my J1s work in 21 days.
hell.
how i wish GOd had given me 48 hours per day.

had a nice chat with my friends and form teacher.
just have to accept the fact that we are not as intelligent and as hardworking as ppl from hwI and RI.
not only their days are short, where ours end at 5 plus.
they are obviously much more independent then we are.

i just wonder if i am really ready to take mY As.
it is really my forte ?
or prehaps i am just too lazy.
so much to re-study so much to absorb.
time is just not enough.

i want a break.
and am taking a break.
but i dun deserve this break, coz i haven work hard enough.
with notes and examples beside me, yet i still can't complete my ex.
guess am just not intelligent and smart.
what tenny say is right.
just hold on to this few more months.
just think about the fact of who wanna stay another year in SRJC.
its tough but its gonna be over soon.

i hope God would help
(despite the fact i had not be attending service but i am also praying in my heart.)
to implant me with the faith and confidence.
so that i can receive miracles this MID YEAR EXAm.

LIFE IS JUST LIKE A GUST OF WIND.

2005-04-11T19:15:00.000-07:00

A LESSON TO LEARN

THE MORE PRECISELY U PLAN, THE HARDER DESTINY WILL HIT U.

2005-04-11T14:40:00.000-07:00

today's math test was horrible.
not enough time.
couldn't concentrate.
like what jenny say "its okie we will work towards mid year".
yeap its not gonna hinder me.
its not gonna drag me down.
moving on.

introduce 5 gold fishes into my fish tank.
though the fish tank is not big.
3 small gold fishes, 2 medium size and 16 red fish.
i think 2 months later,
i would need a bigger fish tank.
hopefully they will still be alive.

2005-04-10T19:40:00.000-07:00

had dinner with ray yesterday.
woke up kinda late today.
missed church service.
saddened.
and met him in the late afternoon to shop and have lunch.
finally got the ebase doll doll shoes.
and bought a wallet.
without button.(he forced me)
spent a happy short and sweet day with him. :)

got lots of things i had yet to get.
must search for something worth the money.
gonna get top short polo tee and razor back.
new wallet.(probably roxY or billabong)
saw some new slippers from billabong. got a few choices.
gonna ask my friends for opinon tmr.
and last of all..a new pencil case! its driving me crazy.
couldn't find any nice and appropriate size.

its another new week tmr.
week 4.
everything is piling up.
gotta do something about it.

2005-04-09T17:00:00.000-07:00

went to bugis with jingyuan today.
3 hours plus of shopping.
haven been shopping like tat b4.
she bought quite a lot of stuff.
bottle, lingerie and earings. quite envious.
a good kaki shopper.
while i just aiming.
wana spend my birthday money wisely.
saw a nice pair of doll doll shoes at ebase.
was still deciding if i wanna invest on it.
then went off to bugis street.
saw another nice pair of pointed shoes which is much cheaper.
decided to invest on it.
but they don't have my size.
what a waste.

i have made up my mind and gonna go back to get it later.
tired from whole day of shopping.

my arms hurts.
or rather aching.
yesterday went for training and used the paddles for the first time.
kinda of difficult to swing my arms with it.
water pressure.
but it kind of make u swim faster after training with it.
just hope this ache go off quickly.
hopefully saved up enough money to get the paddle of my own.

lots of homework to do this weekend.
thermochem, electrochem, stats, essay, summary, biology mcq.
every subject.
and as usual a test, math test.
but next week additional topping.
gp mid year exam.

gonna spread my time properly.
dun wanna just spend all my time on work.
it will make me go crazy.
instead of having the motivation to study
it will make me hate it.

2005-04-05T21:07:00.000-07:00

din attend chemistry test correction today.
din see the point.
as it will only boost my motivation to the lowest.
i want to keep this going on.
not halt there because of this chemistry test.
so i did the right thing of not going.
coz i know i din do well for the test.
wonder is chemistry my forte.
but whether it is or not,
i don't have a choice.

biology trial practical tmr.
hope it goes well.
be confident girlz.
i lacked of it.
God: fill me up with more confident!

p.s : the personal profile and tag is at the corner of this box. must scroll down and right.

2005-04-04T19:42:00.000-07:00

had been quite busy the past few days.
short weekend.
spent the weekend with my family, jc and sec friends and ray.
no comment on my birthday.
enjoyed?
i don't know.
din really met up with my sec friends.
juz buddys.
prehaps i was just not in the mood.
and something which ray did that i dun really think he should.
though his ultimate aim is to keep my saturday occupied.
i dunnoe.
so lost.
is there still hope ?
is the motivation talk still working ?

went to school today rather moody.
don't know why.
is sch the right place for me ?

praying hard.

p.s : the personal profile and tag is at the corner of this box. must scroll down and to the left.

2005-03-31T00:48:00.000-08:00

had a motivation talk today.
quite enjoyed it.
at least for me it makes a difference.
stronger motivation for the matter on "swimming".

learnt quite a lot of new stuffs.
the main purpose of this talk is to teach us how to motivate ourselves in our upcoming tough journey- THE A LEVEL
the speaker was good.
content was what we experienced in life and are facts.
he taught us how to overcome psychological barriers,
which had been a great obstruction towards my life.

finishing strong is the theme of the talk.
have dreams.
and dreams really work.

am sure many of u had heard before of steven spielberg.
his persistant dream of being a director,
had lead him to be a successful film maker.
he was someone who came from a poor family.
but being poor did not stop him from fullfilling his dream as a film maker.
he had no qualification or certificate.
he spent 3 years in universal studio(hollywood),
going in and out as if he was a worker there,
just to secrectly learn the skills of making movies.
the twist in his life was a director who noticed him going to US everyday.
gave him a chance a make his first movie (Jaws).
all his movies were listed as "blockbuster"

the point is,
one must take practical steps towards your dreams.
and don't let ur dreams be a "wish" "want" "hope" or "like"
make your dream a "must" that u must fulfill.

so set ur dreams, something which u really want to be.
it will work.
but it requires responsibility, committment, scarificing to succeed.

IF U THINK U CAN DO IT
OR THINK U CAN'T DO IT,
YOU'RE RIGHT!

HENRY FORD

2005-03-30T17:50:00.000-08:00

the atmosphere was quite tense with the vp, mdm yeoh and me in the room.
i requested to attend training only once a week.
cause i couldn't cope with my studies.
expected, it was rejected.
and mdm yeoh started "attituding" with me.
gave me 2 choice.
either i quit or go for training.
she just being desperate, as i told her i "dun mind" not taking part in the competition.
there was not enough girls in the team.
if i quit all my national's effort for last year would be gone.

and so, i have made up my mind.
i decided to cease arguments and freaking attitude of hers.
just to make her shut up.
i just have to turn for maybe 7 more trainings before mid year?
not going to give up till the end.
i don't believe swimming would be a "big prob" to my studies.
instead it sends a signal to me
that i don't have any spare time to waste.
it actually push me to study more.
so am going to prove that attitude teacher right,
that i can do it.
no harm, it keeps me healthy and prevents me from getting restles.

2005-03-29T20:42:00.000-08:00

today's test is horrible.
all my friends seems to be able to do.
why can't i.
demoralised.
couldn't concentrate during the test at all.
i hate it!

biology practical is fun today except the drawing part.
get to cut the sheep's liver.
my cutting isn't as good as jas.
her group did a nicer job.
supposed to spot the different parts of the kidney.
in the end only could find the medulla, cortex and collecting duct.

2005-03-28T18:00:00.000-08:00

It has been a long weekend for me.
and now its back to the normal school routine.
as usual there are test everyweek.
tomorrow its chem's turn.

did not mangaed to blog this few days because of tight schedule, reaching home rather late and lots of work to complete.

finally last thursday and saturday i went to josephine's church. thursday was a concert. it was a great one!

{photos took on thursday. me and joanna went to jo's church for a starriez night concert.}

2 things to be happy about :

(1)i guess fcbc is where i belong. i hope so. did not had the kind of feeling when i was in new creation. probably because of the atmosphere. nonetheless i hope in future i will have to heart to attend church.thanks to Jo for helping me keeping the faith for God. God is great ! Not forgetting jo gave me a book mark.

book mark say am determined worz.
The sermon was great too.

(2) On saturday,i brought ray along. though he did not really open up as yet, at least he took the courage to step into the church. i am glad. whether he is doing it for me or for God, i will try my very best to find back his faith for God. i believe with God's help, one day he will tell me : God is the ONE. i am waiting...for the day to arrive.

Sunday went to swensen with Tenny Rachel Joanne Jenny And shAron.
finally the 6 of us went out together.

{me and the individual 5 other gals>

in the past, one of six will not be around.
Had a small celebration for tenny and rachel.
God brought to the world on the same day.(26 march 1987)
the 4 of us had a hard time looking for present for both of them.
not forgetting the G-string which had the BIMBO word.
suits tenny perfectly. yeah girl ?
glad that god sent me this gals to motivate me on my studies.
love ya galS!

gonna start studying for tmr's test!
will it be another F?
god please help!

Happy Good friday. God scarifice for us.

(more photos would be uploaded soon)

2005-03-24T17:00:00.000-08:00

last night was a horrible experience for me.

i tried all sorts of ways to fall asleep, but i just couldn't.

from running up and down,to sit up,then skipping, subsequently reading jeffery archer boo,playing handphone games, counting goats and imaging stories of meeting a rice and handsome prince.

it all did not work.

the door of my dreams seems to be lock.

and the mystery was the key to lock.

i tossed around the bed for the next one hour, and fell asleep at 3.30pm.

i went through a tough time solving the mystery.

exiting my dreams, some witch had turned me into a zombie.

every thursday is lecture day for my class.

lecture throughout the day except the last period of chemistry tutorial.

being frustrated for not sleeping enough, i had comments for all lectures.

firstly chemistry lecture.

electrochemistry, all about physics which was my weakest subject in secondary school.

though i did not had the interest, but do i have a choice ?

luckily i managed to catch some new knowledge before going for the next lecture.

then i had my biology test.skippedmy lunch for this test.

and yeap i can do the essay but the oxygen dissociation curve was nonsense for me!

i just pray hard that i will not end up with an F again.

next was my math lecture.

statistic.

???WHAT EXACTLY IS STATISTIC ALL ABOUT???

i have no idea.

i just don't understand what ms tan is saying.

fast and hard to catch up with.

the school seems to be having a recycle paper programme going, squeezing the figures into the pathetic book.

following i had my biology lecture.

nervous control.

this chapter had a lot of extra points to take note unlike the other chaps(probably becoz mrs wong lecture: just reading from the text book), but mr sala huddin was like rushing through.

all points taken were wrote half way.

luckily during gp change to tutorial.

mdm anion was able to keep me awake though i was reaching the peak of my sleeping mode.

Her sense of humor which makes the lesson enriching and her fashion for clothes and shoes

keeps me awake.

embracing myself owning all the 365 pairs of shoes she has. woo hoo~

the last period of chemistry i totally switched off.

trying to keep my eye lid high.

in the end, i played battle ship but ms tan was too busy to have notice me. who cares~

tonight i am attending jo's church.

performance for good friday.

and most likely will end up having supper at newton or chomp.

depends.

but what i really want to do now is enter into lala land.

ZZzzzzZzzz... ZzzzzZzzzz....

2005-03-23T10:20:00.000-08:00

din attend school today.
was feeling terrible today.
mum forbidded me to run the 2.4 km and swimming training this afternoon.
but i studied for my biology test yesterday.
though it was here and there. but i studied.
all my effort are wasted.
as not going to school today, means i am gonna take it tmr.
which leads to me restudying the whole transport in humans again
coz i can't remember a single thing now.

i wonder..
i fell real ill and yesterday my grandma got admitted into the hospital due to diabetics and high blood pressure.
the two of us were very close. closer than a mother and a daughter.
is god trying to sent me a msg ?
i am really scared. i dun wanna lose her.

last year O level students received their posting yesterday.
wonder how they did.
hope they get into where they want for their next step of their life.

feel so weak now.
gonna sleep and do my work later.

till then.

2005-03-22T15:30:00.000-08:00

finally i got my blog done.
the piggying blog was corrupted by me.
din had the time to create new blog till then.
somehow couldn't change the colour of the tag.
wonder how am i going to tag.
editing is tough.

school starts.
this holiday seems to fly past so quickly.
no revision,assignments not completed.
but spent on going out playing shopping.
learning how to enjoy life but no knowledge absorbed.

fell ill yesterday.
real ill.
38.5 degree was my temp.
whole body numb, breathless and felt like some soft toy.

another biology test tmr.
transport in humans.
doubt i can make it.
2fs previously and what would be the next ?

i awaits.